the kings rings

i don't know much about my fathers childhood ,and thats sad.i do know bits and pieces but i really don,t know what his life was really like.what did he do in his spare time ? what was his home life like? from what i can gather is i dont think he came from a very affectionate home .the reason i think that is he had a very hard time showing his affections.he never said i love you and always signed my birthday cards from dad.now i don't think for a mintue that he didn't love me.he just didn't know how to express it.which was ironic because when i had kids he was all hugs and kisses.he had the type of relationship with them that he should have had with his own kids.it was like he had a second chance and he wasn't going to mess it up .now some good came of this.when i had my kids i make sure to hug kiss and tell them i love them as much as i can.and now it is second nature to them.my dad did a lot for me, helped me when i needed it,watched my kids,lent me money all his way i guess of showing me how much he loved me.my dad was always a rough and tumble type.so when we found out he had a cancerous brain tumor,it didn't seem possible.he lost control of his mind and at times was impossible.he wavered in and out of reality.this brought me to think this is my last chance to get him to say i love you.i then recalled reading an article on actor peter fonder,he said his father had simaler proplems with showing affection.so he made a plan to tell him he loved him every day till he got the same response,and eventuly he did.so that was my plan go to the hospital everyday and tell him iloved him till i got the same respose.so day after day before i left i would kiss him on the head and tell him i loved him.i never got a resonse,and kind of gave up hope of hearing the response i was looking for. i thought at the very least i had got it out there, till one day as i was leaving his room, walking in to the hallway, an in a low gravely tone i heard i love you too.i froze in my tracks,walked back into the room and said luv ya dad.this is my most memorable moment of my life with my dad.and something i'll always remember.and thats kind of sad.he had similar moments with my brothers telling one of them he wished he had been more personel with his kids.a week before he died i went to the hospital and waited for him to come out of radiation treatment.they brought him out in a wheel chair he had a sheet draped around his shoulders his head hung down he looked so small and helpless.he raised his hand very slowly and motoined for me to come close with his head still down he wispered i have some kings rings and i sent them out for repair there worth millions.when i told my brothers the story they told me he had said the same thing to them .none of us knew what he meant.but four years later i would like to think(and i know its a reach)that the rings where his sons and he was repairing the relationships.even in death he taught me a lesson a few months after he died my grandmother died and because of what i learned from my fathers experience,instead of sitting home crying in grief i was able to go to the hospital hold her hand thank her for everything and tell her i loved her. i no longer fear death but now think of it as a process of life.
thanks pop happy fathers day love you too